On Time

On Time

(This was written in October 3, 2011)
 

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I had my colloquium with my Spiritual Director yesterday. I needed to walk around Banawe Street to reach St. Theresa’s College in D. Tuazon Street. Unfortunately (actually it was not unfortunate because I enjoyed the moment of walking in the rain), it rained. My shoes became wet because of the splashes of the cars passing by and my own steps. Darn. Now, I needed to dry them up for next day.

Luckily, with the sunny weather, my shoes were dry for today. But they needed to be cleaned and shined. As I was shining them, I reminisced my high school days in the Minor Seminary. I remember that during Saturday nights, we used to shine our shoes for the Sunday morning Mass. We would share random thoughts and experiences and laugh at them. We would pass and take turns of the kiwi and shoe brush. And when we come to a point of becoming noisy, the prefect would come and scold us. We shared everything – kiwi, shoe brush, laughter and scolds. Gone were those days. And today, I am sitting alone in my bed shining my shoes. I miss those days when shining shoes was not done alone. I always had someone to talk to, someone to tell silly stories and share laughter with. However, father time has led me to another place. And he moves so swiftly. Yes, time moves so swiftly.

I smiled with that thought. Sometimes it’s unfair. You can never go back to the past. You can never repeat the old memories that you would want to experience. Your only means to return to the good old experiences is through reminiscing. Most of the time, they are not even as clear as they were when you were actually experiencing them.

This led me to the thought that: once you do something, it would never be repeated – ever. The exact time and act you made at a certain time would never coincide again. There is only one 8:35 p.m., Monday, October 3, 2011 in the history of the whole world. Let's hypothetically put that you were shining your shoes that instant. Well, for sure, it will not be repeated. You can never shine your shoes in that same instant - ever.

With this, it seems that we can barely experience and speak of ‘now.’ Come to think of it, ‘now’ is equivalent to a second – the very second you experience the ‘now’ is the ‘is.’ Every ‘now’ is only a second. Actually, we can barely experience a single ‘now.’ Every time the second in the clock turns, we experience a different ‘now.’ 8:35 and 10 seconds p.m. is different from 8:35 and 11 seconds p.m. Every now, every second, is unique. Every moment is different. This is how precious a single moment could be.

As the discovery of time is the most important discovery in understanding the world’s process, it also is a curse. Time is irreversible. It leaves us with the challenge and bitterness of thought that never again can we return to anything that is past done. Looking simply at the clock reminds us of this. The clock is a symbol that shows us that time has passed. Another time waits. ‘Now’ is different. This would compel us to value the every 'now.'

If someone were to ask me when was or is the best moment of my life, I would answer them with a “now” or this moment. Why? I realized that we sometimes fail to notice the importance and significance of every single moment in our lives. We always focus in the sweet memories that we once had while we shun the bitter ones. But is not every moment a moment worth experiencing? Isn’t it that every ‘now’ is unique and thus something worth being the best? We should think of it as: ‘now’ is something which, for 4.5 billion years (as they say, the world is this old), is something we have been waiting for. It took 4.5 billion years just to arrive at a single ‘now.’ Keeping this in mind, we are led to treat every moment as special. How truly wonderfully special it is!

Time is cruel for it takes us to another moment. It does not let us dwell in any particular moment. It renders every moment and feeling as fleeting. What time teaches us is valuing all the ‘nows’ that we experience. We are not to waste our time in doing unworthy things. It should be seen like a basketball game: the game is not over unless the clock turns 0:00. In a millisecond, a team can still win. Same is true in our every ‘nows.’ Every moment counts, every moment is unique, every moment is the best.

 

Yes, time is cruel. And we are all bound to it. If we had the chance, wouldn't we want to escape from it? Wouldn't we like to go to a place where there is no time? I think you will say 'Yes.' And there is only one place where there is no time. I have in mind – in God. We say that God does not live in time. God’s place, Heaven, is somewhere where there is no time to dictate and warn us that another moment has come. How much happiness would Heaven then be if in it, we are free from time – from suffering? This is the happiness that Heaven speaks of. There is an eternal ‘now.’ It is an unchanging moment that would never give us the fleeting dynamism of moment to moment. It simply ‘is.’

Well, this was a good old thought.